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Talkin' PLANS Paranoid Blues
(adapted from Bob Dylan)
Well, I was feelin' sad and feelin' blue,
I didn't know what in the world I was gonna do,
Them Anthroposophists they wus comin' around,
They wus in the air,
They wus on the ground.
They wouldn't gimme no peace. . .
So I run down most hurriedly
And joined Dan Dugan's PLANS Society,
I got me a secret membership card
And started off a-walkin' down the road.
Yee-hoo, I'm a real Waldorf Critic now!
Look out you Anthros!
We all know Steiner agreed with Hitlers' views,
and paved the way for killing six million Jews.
It don't matter too much that Steiner was a Fascist,
The point is that he was an Anthroposophist!
That's to say like if you got a cold you take a shot of malaria.
Well, I wus lookin' everywhere for them Anthropops.
I checked the train stations, Waldorf schools, beaches, and bus stops,
Looked in the sink, behind the door,
Looked in the glove compartment of my car.
Couldn't find 'em . . .
I wus lookin' high an' low for them Anthropops everywhere,
I wus lookin' in the sink an' underneath the chair.
I looked way up my chimney hole,
I even looked deep inside my toilet bowl.
They got away . . .
Well, I wus sittin' home alone an' started to sweat,
Figured they wus in my T.V. set.
Peeked behind the picture frame,
Got a shock from my feet, hittin' right up in the brain.
Them Anthros caused it!
I know they did . . . them hard-core ones.
Well, I quit my job so I could work alone,
Then I changed my name to Sherlock Holmes.
I sued Waldorf schools and told the government to ban them
And discovered they wus anthro-babble in the National Anthem!
That ol' Betty Ross . . .
Well, I investigated all the books in the library,
Ninety percent of 'em gotta be burned away.
I investigated all the people that I knowed,
Ninety-eight percent of them gotta go.
The other two percent are fellow Waldorf Critics . . . just like me.
Now Eisenhower was an Anthro spy,
Lincoln, Jefferson and that Roosevelt guy.
To my knowledge there's just one man
That's really a true American: George Gordon Liddy.
I know for a fact he hates Anthros cus he picketed the musical Hair.
Well, I fin'ly started thinkin' straight
When I run outa things to investigate.
Couldn't imagine doin' anything else,
So now I'm sittin' home investigatin' myself!
Hope I don't find out anything . . . hmm, great God!
Original lyrics:
http://bobdylan.com/songs/birch.html
Copyright © 1970 Special Rider Music
Anthroposophy, Critics, and Controversy
